Pink Cadillac, crushed velvet seats, riding in the back, oozing down the street…spending all my money on a Saturday night…Pink Cadillac, Pink Cadillac..
How about a FREE Pink Cadillac, or a White Mercedes, or a BMW? Sign me up!
Although I’ve love to say that my Husband is the only one to have made financial mistakes in our relationship, unfortunately, that’s not true. While working in the Big Four with No Waste, I attended a “car party” for a girl who had recently earned her luxury sedan after hitting sales targets within a
Network Marketing Company Pyramid Scheme. She was around my age, so of course I thought, “If she can do this, I can too!”
I’d NEVER done something like this before, so I thought it was time to give it a whirl, signing up to be a consultant with a natural cosmetics company before leaving the party.
Now, in order to get started, I only had to pay $29 to receive a 35% discount on all products. Not bad! Oh, then it was suggested to me that I purchase SEVEN sets of their anti-aging products, which came to around $1,500.
Oh and don’t forget your makeup samples! You get the picture. So, I was in this thing for around $2,500, before I’d even approached a potential customer.
No Waste: $2,500? Twas merely a flesh wound…
BUT, I was going to be a Super Star Seller, and earn my car in TWO years just like that girl had, and in the process earn enough money working from home so that I could quit my office gig and be at home with my future children.
Well, there was the first problem. I always knew I wanted to be a stay at home Mom, and I knew that we would make it happen, regardless. So, I guess that sort of took some of the incentive out for me, but darned if I would let ANYONE know THAT.
I was going to tell myself, and my potential customers, that I was doing this so I could stay home with my kids when we decided to start a family. Maybe that would tug at their heart strings. Hey, I only had to convince two people to sign up, who would then get another two people, who would each get another two people. And so on. And so on. And so on.
Egyptian Network Market
With all the people in this world it can’t get any easier than finding two suckers like me, right?! And hey, two to the power of seven is two hundred and fifty four suckers, all making me rich and contributing to my car allowance!
Network Pyramid would be epic! They would write stories about it!
So, with my seven sets in hand that would make your grandmother look like Vanna White, I was on my way up! But, to be quite honest, I felt like “that girl” who was just trying to sell stuff to everyone she knew. Oh, let’s be honest, I WAS that girl. It was awkward. It wasn’t me, but I kept going. What, admit failure?
Also, I just got sad thinking about how Vanna White is probably old enough to BE a Grandmother.
Where does time go?
I took a class on how to be a super star direct seller.
I made index cards detailing out what I would say on each call.
I put post-it notes on my bathroom mirror to encourage myself.
I listened to self-motivating CDs each morning as I got ready.
None of this made a difference for me. I feel like all that positive listening works the same as hypnosis. If you’re the kind of person WILLING to be hypnotized, you CAN be hypnotized. But I don’t really believe that I CAN be hypnotized and likewise, all that motivational listening didn’t make any difference in how I perceived myself or what I was doing. I’m sure my Husband wanted to laugh, but he was actually quite supportive during this time.
No Waste: Of course I was.
By the way, to make money, you had to order at least $100 worth of products in any given month. No problem, except most everyone I talked to just signed themselves up as a consultant to get an immediate 35% discount which meant I wasn’t getting the direct credit for sales that I needed.
So I ended up buying more product for my personal use to get over the hump, slowly amassing enough cosmetics to accessorize an ARMY. My biggest check ever? $40.
So after a few house parties, and trying to sign up almost everyone I knew, I was running out of people to badger. In the end, I found one or two who signed up one or two, and that’s where it ended. They bought their personal use products for a few months and then lost interest. I probably didn’t do the best job, but I did try to encourage them to go to meetings and get on the conference calls.
But who I was kidding? I barely wanted to do it myself. I attended a National Conference in…Dallas?…Orlando? I don’t even remember…that’s how crucial it was to my budding career as a
network marketer Pyramid Builder that I don’t even remember! After a smaller meeting three hours from home, I’d finally had enough and gave into my true self, stopping the charade that I was ever meant to be in sales.
Thankfully, I really do like the products, so I eventually used up most of what was left of my massive cosmetic stockpile and I’m still a customer. It wasn’t a total loss of my investment but in the end I was still driving my old sedan. My total income, BEFORE expenses, didn’t top $500 in the two years I was a
Network Marketer Pyramid Builder.
My Mother warned me, but this was different I told her…
Disclaimer: I’m jokingly referring to these ventures as pyramid schemes. But they are, by letter of the law, not pyramid schemes.